There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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