my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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