Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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