hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
