DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
