Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
