Plan B is the new Plan A
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
