haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
