No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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