Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
