I cockslap morals
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
