What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize