Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
