Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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