Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize