All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
