She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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