can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
