I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
