I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
