He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
