They should really pass out barf bags in church
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I have post one night stand depression
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
