Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
