what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
