I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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