I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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