I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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