i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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