well you can't waste a boner
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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