I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
