I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
