so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
