carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
