Are we in a gay sports bar?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm sobbing to NWA
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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