I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
