He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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