ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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