I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
organizing the empties. That sober.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize