We're like a lot better than the average bears
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize