He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
