just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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