Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
