Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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