can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize