so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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