Swine flu is the new snow day.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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