Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
