I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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