Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
