Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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