I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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