I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
