Pappa wants mamma naked
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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