Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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