I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize