Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
