Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
