got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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