Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
