K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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