Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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