A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize