ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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