I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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