what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
