i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize