no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
