4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
