He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
