Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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