So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
