I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I think i got beer on your cat.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
