Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
